Monday, April 5, 2010

Mulling on a facet of my 'Self'

I loved to write. I still do. It was not a choice. It was not an option. It was an unsquelcheable innate natural direction. An unstoppable force to express. Just as when a good brain comes across a challenging puzzle, he/she simply cannot rest until it is solved, just as when a tune suddenly comes to mind,  a composer cannot be at ease until it is composed and recorded, similarly when an experience yielded an emotion or thought, it HAD to be analyzed and written down. When a thought arises, it is in a vague form - undirected and uncaptured. When it was penned, it got a form and the thought became clearer and more defined. Thinking led to writing, yet the writing channeled the thinking. For example, when someone punches you on the face, you feel some mental and physical sensations. When you say "I feel angry with you", that one word 'anger' gives a shape, a form to the previously untapped experience. That is the beauty of language. You feel the air around you in a breeze, yet you store the air in the balloon.

 In school, I used to balk at the suggestion of trying my hand at some creative writing contest, because if you gave me a topic and asked me to write, I would draw a huge blank or give in something which I would never accept as a piece of work that has transcended the standard of average. I cannot write for the joy of writing. I write for the joy of thinking. It is analogous to an example of two artists. One imagines a beautiful seashore in mind and draws it. The other happened to pass by a beautiful seashore and his mind was captivated and felt it had to express it in drawing. In the first example, the mind conceives the subject and CREATES thoughts pertaining to it and then gives it a form. In the second instance, the mind comes across some subject and thoughts are CREATED involuntarily and then they are given form. The former is expressing to create. The latter is creating to express. I am of the latter type. Perhaps that is why I suck at writing stories. I cannot imagine a plot.Yet, if some interesting plot occurs in my own life, I could make a story out of it perhaps. Hence, I will never call myself creative. Advertisements are creative. Yet, philosophies are 'artistic'.  


CHIBI said...

I agree completely. Writing should be for the joy of thinking.

I am guessing that am type " expressing to create" coz am quite better at creating ideas than expressing something thats there already, but then i dont suck at the other one either. Hmmm.. so am not quite sure where to draw the line.

mr.weirdo!! said...

we should learn to balance creativity and the artist in us to survive i think .. but what am i talking :) am speaking to a person who dont want to budge to the world and just feels doing things at and when it comes along & considers it the best way to filicitate the activity :) am attempting that balance actually - am yet to write a concept i wanted to write 1 month back ... letting it grow and also diminish in its own right in this time ... but again this the opposite of what you said about conjuring thoughts to express than searching for words to express a thought :)

abhster said...

Your " wants to " and " compelled to " can be found in many things. Eg :- singing . Sometimes , a person wants to go on-stage and sing , but sometimes , people are also compelled by friends and family etc.You know very well you're lying when you say you're not creative. Creativity can come in different shapes and sizes. Your creativity lies in the ability to shape things perfectly. I mean , even I were given hints and the key to this topic , I still wouldnt be able to cap it up so nicely. You understand human emotions , and you can express their emotions in writing. This is where I would go wrong . A writer can always give emotions in writing( this is me ) , but only a good writer can make his/her feel readers feel the same emotions and this is creativity , and talent at its best form . What you call " lack of creativity " is really " a minor lack ofimaginantion " and there are always subsitutes for imagination , like talent , intelligence , and a good personality all of which you have. . You can transform anything thats dull into something quite interesting . This again is creativity , oh and BTW , your " cannot write at creative writing contest " problem is not with creativity. Its just that you need time to think , and if you rush , it tends to spoil things . After a few times at it , you'll get used to it.

Trust me when I say you're the best writer I've met .When it comes to " suck at kids' writing " , I'm a kid too( 12 years old ). does that mean I'm supposed to hate this ;) ?

amudhan said...

There is a saying 'you just have to be best in what you do' and you already are. Both creative or artistic are equal only right? I know you haven't started an argument or debate about what is better. You are just telling that two aspects of writing. But I never knew the two aspects of the artists... good one...

bomzie said...

Why express???

Sindu said...

@Bomzie: Why express? :) Very powerful question indeed and you having asked this, crisp and short without any frills makes it all the more thought provoking. I think it was meant to be an innate compulsion as strong as biological ones - perhaps stronger. Perhaps nature designed so to facilitate a smooth passage of ideas between minds, necessary for evolution.

By the way, welcome to the blog, Adithya. Gomathi spoke (incessently! :)) about you and just want to say, thanks for visiting and taking time to leave a comment.

The Visitor said...

Much as I would like to discuss this post, the purpose of this comment is to make a request.

If you are on FB, can (may) I add you to a FB group - New Writers, New Books.

Psst: Most of them (like me) are not real writers.
You may, if you prefer, mail me your reply.

Sindu said...

Thank you for commenting and am even more grateful about the request. However, I am seriously not writer material...'real' or otherwise. I am not being humble or anything.

Writing gives me a sense of freedom and liberation. The minute I become a part of communities, I find it gone. This is my world - own big village with a few wonderful people. I create beautiful stuff here. I am content. :)

siddharth said...

I really wish i could physically 'like' your posts somewhere :) For you have this wonderful knack of explaining what the reader might've had in mind all along and instantly comes to identify himself with.

Its a very difficult thing to do, to put forth such abstract views in such a succinct manner. That help us make some sense of the bewildering sea of change that our minds are sometimes in the midst of, while you do so on a more personal level. As though we were a part of your own journey.

Its the difference between a performer who only commands respect for his talent and another who's loved for his ability to move the audience, feel the way he does.
I dont know if you realize :)
Priviliged to be a part (albeit a more silent spectator) of this wonderful 'village'!