Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Decidophobia!!

When discussions concerning destiny vs. free -will used to surface among friends, I was one of those few who said that everything was pre-determined in life; the script is set and we are merely playing it out. The others vehemently tried to convince us out of this thought or probably secretly convince themselves out of this possibility. Our theory made them feel powerless... mere puppets in the hands of destiny. It, after all, feels good to believe that I chose MY success, I chose MY happiness and it was MY intelligence, effort, strategy and tact that brought me to this point" (E for Ego ;))
"What, then, is the point of living at all, if life is already determined?", they chirruped.
"Umm, well, I never said there was a point" ;D

To dwell further on the topic would require us to plunge headlong into meta-physics and theology and prod on the questions, which neither was my purpose nor lies in the best of my interests, considering the fact that the greatest philosophers are still debating over it. Wishing good luck to them and backing off a bit, so as to allow their debate to carry on uninterrupted, I come to MY case.

Forget whether choice exists or not, but is choice always a good thing to have? Is being allowed to make a choice always a great boon?

 I probably would have thought in the affirmative a few months back. Yet, today, I feel otherwise. For, with power comes responsibility. With decisions come the possibility of failure and regret. What is a greater agony? - knowing that life is shit or knowing that I landed myself in this shit?

  At every turn, there always seem to be two roads branching out. Taking a wrong road might jeopardize a lot of things that could take a long time to reset. Trying to figure which road to take means to try to figure out what I need my destination to be. Trying to finalize the destination means trying to know who I am and what I need in this lifetime. This is a difficult task. For, only taking a road and journeying will tell me about myself. So, it is a vicious cycle.

 At some point, I am so exasperated that I just let go and pick one. Fears still are in me but I just have to trust in life and have faith that there will always be another turn to lead to better ways if this one fails. I look around and see people not pondering so much at every turn and choosing their roads as easily as choosing what to wear. I wonder if I am the one not willing to take a leap of faith in life. The others too have big dreams and plans for their destination. Then how is it, that they take decisions so easily? I wonder if I am the one not willing to take a leap of faith in myself.

Perhaps the best decisions come when you are least pushing yourself to decide. Under pressure, it is always the same dead end, whether you are thinking for one minute or analyzing for one week. I decide to loosen up and enjoy the road I have taken. Good or bad, it sure cant be devoid of interesting places, people and experience!

So, you see, choice is not always a great thing. It is sometimes a relief when there is just one road and you are forced to take it. At least you can blame 'life' for your misery!! ;)

12 comments:

abhster said...

Decisions are pretty easy to make . Its the consequences you've got to worry about . You make the wrong choice , you pay for it .

Having just one road to take really doesnt make a difference , since you're going to stop and watch the flowers , relishing the moments .

Life really is easier if its already made out for you . But only if *your* ideas are taken into consideration before making the " script " .

Jency said...

You have told "I decide to loosen up and enjoy the road I have taken. Good or bad, it sure cant be devoid of interesting places, people and experience!" Thats exactly what life is all about, its the journey that matters not the destination....ask me personally, according to faith, this life is the means for achieving the Life Eternal ;)

Sindu said...

@Abhster: You seem to have done a neat job of summarizing the post. Thnk you! You have yet agn proved that you are capable of thinking far beyond your age! :)

Sindu said...

@Jency: Life eternal... Yeah, wish I could get there. :) Thnks for stopping by Jency!! :)

mr.weirdo!! said...

beautiful journey is surely the key to live happily in this world. But i wonder - if you are a person (from what you projected yourself to be in this prose) who so rightfully feel everything is pre-written' then why are you meandering over your choices? waiting for any signs?

and are you saying the world around you (& me) is striding faster with instant decisions even when they unlike you feel it's their choices that has taken them to whatever place they are now? are we missing so piece of information or do we need a wider classification?

siddharth said...

"At every turn, there always seem to be two roads branching out. Taking a wrong road might jeopardize a lot of things that could take a long time to reset. Trying to figure which road to take means to try to figure out what I need my destination to be. Trying to finalize the destination means trying to know who I am and what I need in this lifetime." - R Sinduja

This line really has the potential to become a famous meaningful life quote in future. No kidding!
That's how well you write, putting the exact words to what a very few people might otherwise feel but might never be able to convey so beautifully! Without the 'i know better than you' ego that typically comes with most 'intelligent' beings, with utmost humility. Hats off!! :)

siddharth said...

But to just make a case against what you say (as always! ;)) dont you think we'd take life for granted if there were just one road to be. That having one path would mean we wouldnt even try figuring 'who we are and what we need in this lifetime' ?
That we wouldnt even know who we are in the first place, that the road to self - discovery would eventually be lost ?

siddharth said...

Also @abhster: I have to say this.. Its impossible for one to believe that you're a 14 year old guy from your writings.. You really are something! :)

The Visitor said...

:)

Chanced upon your blog today and am immensely enjoying it. :)

Sindu said...

@ The Visitor: It is said that for a man new to the hospitality sector, every word of appreciation from any visitor is a word of gold. I feel the same. It is always wonderful to welcome 'the visitor'. Thank you.

Judy Balan said...

The Visitor directed me to this one :) Nice read. I think choice can be a headache too - recently posted on it, though mine is the infinitely more shallow cousin of this post :D

With that said, I still vote for choice :O

Sindu said...

Uncle OTEE seems to be really adept at cyber relationship skills, isnt it? :)
Thank you so much Judy for leaving a comment. N that's a wonderful blog you have there btw.