Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Guile then, Guilty now.

 For many years, I was living in a haunted, magical and depressing land. People suddenly would look crooked, places would perennially appear dark , bright sunny days seemed moody and dull all the time. Sometimes, little hills got transformed and posed as big mountains. Fresh streams appeared polluted. Nothing seemed new. Every thing was old, dusty and boring. 

 Yet, I kept traveling. I was driven by my desire to find that one land where things would seem  eternally beautiful, or at least appear alright and normal. "Something ought to be there that is perfect for me." The travel was exhausting, yet was a reason to wake up everyday. I tried harder and harder.

 Of course little things along the way and through the journey were comforting - food, movies, friends, jokes. 

I did wish I would escape this magical but horrible land soon. It was sheer karma that I had to be born here.Poor me! - surrounded by 'bad' people, 'bad' things and 'bad' places. Poor me! - subjected to unfair miseries by selfish people. Something was wrong with all of them. I would know. I am right, after all.

 On one tiresome day, after traveling long and hard,  I leaned to rest from exhaustion. I took my glasses off and closed my eyes. Opening them again after some time, I was taken in for a big surprise. I was literally taken aback! Where was I? Was it a dream? Why, everything was so lush and green around me! Fresh water, clear skies, beautiful weather. What more, the people looked pleasing and warm. Did some fairy godmother transport me in my sleep? But no! everything was familiar. This was the same place that I used to live in and these were the same people who were horrible to me.  What was happening?

Then, the answer sunk in scarily. It was my pair of glasses!  Could they have been defective for all these years?, which means all I had to do was merely correct them. Is it possible that with the solution right in me, I was searching far and beyond for the panacea? Simple though it was, it threatened to eat my peace.I was attached to the blame game. I was attached to the 'Oh-poor-me!' game. What was I going to do now? I was committed to giving a piece of my mind to all those 'bad' people who had created misery for me. What was I to do with all that pent-up energy? 

'No! No! This is not fair. They were 'bad' and I was 'good'. They were 'wrong' and I was 'right' and I have to prove that. What do you mean, the defect was all along with me? What am I going to do now?' It tore my heart to face the truth.

Perhaps ignorance was bliss.


mr.weirdo!! said...

do you feel it was the right decision to start the article in a conclusive way? i feel it removes the suspense from it.

Abhishek said...

things arent always the way they're supposed to be are they ? it comes as a shock at first , but you get used it =)

amudhan said...

When I first read I really thought it was because of a physical spectacle (wrong power) you were not able to see clearly... How stupid of me... then I got into thinking... hmmm... if the glass is of wrong power, why should people become bad people???? :)

Then I realized, all these things are figurative and you are taking something high in spiritual process... Hmmm... But getting involved in spirituality will be very good in the beginning and once the devil in us start to ask question, it will confuse the clear mind even worse and we will become our normal self sooner or later.

Spirituality shouldn't be a hobby... either you fully involve or don't involve in it... by this, I don't mean praying to God, and I am sure you know that...

Sindu said...

@Mr.Weirdo : I dont get you... How else would have been better? Any suggestions?

@Abhishek: The point is not to get used to it... but to learn from it :)

@Amudhan: Hmmm...Yes, I do agree that it takes a lot of maturity to handle spirituality. Yet, even otherwise, it does sow the seeds of change. Confusions do arise... some quit, others stay on..not because they want to but because there is simply no other way.

That said, I don't know if this post was 'spiritual'... If little lessons of life are what is spirituality, then none of us can escape spirituality.

Abhishek said...

What we originally thought was there were people that actually *cared* for our gains and losses .

You cant expect sympathy from people . You're on your own . Even the people who stand by you have their own problems to deal with .

The " Oh-Poor-Me! " game was just another diversion that kept us from seeing what was real .

But its almost amusing when we watch the first-timers' react to how " cruel " the world .

mr.weirdo!! said...

when you say, 'For many years, I was living in a haunted, magical and depressing land.' I FELT, you are opening up on a top that has been put to end. It declares that you are not living there any more. Thus the element of surprise that was to come at the 3rd act of this article is compromised.

But you could argue that, when the tense is in the past its inevitable. I am not good at tenses. So i will limit my comment to what i understand.

if i were to write it i would start with, 'All my life i lived in a haunted, magical and depressing land; a land filled with strange people. They suddenly would look crooked ...'

Its an open view. Feel free to correct me if am wrong in my analysis :)

Anonymous said...

I as in, you?

C.V.Varun said...

Heys sis,

Very philosophical! LOVE IT!!! Beautifully penned down/keyed down! I see a lot of SAPG in it!!! :D

CHIBI said...

Excellent !

bomzie said...


The Visitor said...

Beautifully written. The analogy couldn't have been better.