Monday, May 30, 2011

Not so obvious, isn' t it...

Journalism is getting to be like a bottle of beer. Not that I have had a lot of beer. But from what I have heard of beer, I feel I can quite make that statement with justification.

I dint quite think I was going to be a great fan of reporting before I started acquiring a taste of it. Nor did I immediately like it when I got to do it. I had my doubts. I had my moments of revulsion. Yet with each passing day, it seems to be becoming a companion that you slowly start to understand and get comfortable with.

More on that front later. Today, the post is on something totally different. As usual of course, I have to act all profound and begin my sentences with "One of the greatest puzzles of life.....". ;)

One of the greatest puzzles of life will always be why we like a few people and do not get along that well with a few others. While every behavioral science seems to be attempting to decode this mystery in their own ways, I guess at some point or the other every human being too has pondered over this in the context of their own personal experience. Yours sincerely is no exception. Time and again, I concluded one thing though consistently:

While love, as an emotion, is one of the most pure selfless virtues of humanity ever, the means of deciding to love someone is one of the most selfish ego-centric decision processes of man (and woman. chill!)

In other words, the things you do and feel for the person you love is amazing. Yes. Selfless.Godly. Yet, why is that you are doing these to THIS person. How was the selection made? The truth might not be so godly after all.

By love, I don't just mean one with a romantic slant to it. It could be any relationship. The light bond that you and your vegetable vendor share. Friendship. One between mother and child. Every interaction, be it one of a lifetime relationship or a five minute welcome exchange - every interaction is heavily tainted with survival, protective and evolutionary factors.

Is the mother so good to the child only because the child, which resembles her in features and mannerisms, reminds her of her own gene propagated? Or could be because the child, in all its helplessness and vulnerability, satisfies the human need to be wanted and important? Did you befriend the person next door, because you share a lot of common likes and interests, by virtue of having a similar socio-economic background?

There are certain traits universally despised or considered 'abnormal'. When we avoid one having these, the answers to why are obvious. Yet the simplicity ends there. For every other action and reaction, a dozen hidden factors lurk beneath the surface and when one starts questioning deeper and deeper into why is it that in a group, he listens only to a few, smiles only at a few, helps only a few and shares information only to select members, a lot of interesting pointers could come out.

End of the day, no matter what the mechanism is, in a world of teeming millions, be grateful to those select few who find you interesting or want to know you...even more so, if you don't find yourself having that set of 'attractive' qualities that are most conducive to others' evolutionary pleasures.


Anonymous said...

Evolutionary pleasures.. lol.. tht was really funny..heheh.. No wonder i miss you.
This is a real good article, penned by a person with a heart of gold, of course very thoughtful[having penned it on may the 29th]. Speaks volumes of the persons innate traits and acquired knowledge, oops actually it should be more of the former - the innate trait! Ah?
I doubted you severely on this but it was a contemplation and you jus prove me wrong with articles like these..Of course you are an artist :) Anyhow, my case of the snake reflection thingy adds weight to the praise..

Like many you mentioned who would have given a thought abt it, I felt it many a time. Excited though when I saw it picturized by james cameron in his movie avatar.
Bonding of the banshee with the na'vi warriors I felt had a parallels with us, the humans. Sure though, the neural interface existing is what that allows animals like us to synch.
P.S : Proved and tested in dance floors..Rofl

Jency said...

This topic is something which is definitely close to my heart...err perhaps brain! As you said if we closely look at all the Great Love stories there would always be a fair maiden and a prince who is brave at heart as if nothing else/no one mattered :P Within our relations there are some who are favoured for being similar/exactly opposite to us and there others who are intentionally/unintentionally but subconsciously left out...if we delve further into such Human love all I see is Prejudice which gathers reasons to support its cause as time passes by:)

Sindu said...

@Anonymous: Dear Anonymous, your comment seems to be tarred with a subtle mix of personalized impressions and contemplative humor. :) and my immediate reaction to it was a blatant mix of puzzlement and unsureness. Hmmm... still not sure whether you have actually praised or ridiculed in disguise :). Anyways, thank you!

I couldn't understand the snake reflection part.

Either I am dumbing down or your thoughts are way above good to even comprehend! Do keep visiting! :)

Sindu said...

@Jency: Hi Jency! Long time :)

"Prejudice which gathers reasons to support its cause as time passes by" - amazing way of putting it! I just hope the reason could be truly noble enough to support the cause in solid stead. Alas, I am afraid not...:)

Anonymous said...

I am totally at sea wrt this post. I seemed to have got it, but it still remains elusive. To add to the confusion the first commentator (which is definitely not me) has added his own oblique references.

Maybe after another couple of re-reads I'll be able to say something...

PS: Good to know that you seem to like your new found companion. :)

I am different from Anonymous 1. :)

The Visitor said...

Read this line on another post - ... evolutionary advantage of being selfish. and was reminded of this post.

Sindu said...

@Anonymous: A very sweet comment! :) Thank you so much!

@The Visitor: Thank you for the link. Yes, I read her blog too. Good stuff. :)

Abhishek said...

I think it has somethin to do with seein a familiar face nd knowin your going to be alright . Its like meeting one familiar person in a room full of people you dont know nd clinging to that person .

And as for why we find some people more " lovable " than others , its merely because there's somethin about that person that appeals to your senses , be it the eyes , the ears , or the brain =P

mr.weirdo!! said...

though u didnt talk abt it in ur post i cant stop articulating d thought of polygamy. y cant v digest d fact tht some1 can like more than 1 person? of course social stigma lets us decide on d more secure one. but r v bein faithful here - if tht is wat expected. continous love can surely overcome d past love but it ll take just a moment to find tht lost love as well.

comin to this topic; i call tht selection process, which u had named as mechanism, as spark. keep a lot of attractive ppl in a good culture (biological 1) but oly few ll grow tht bond for each other. one of d best culture as anonymous2 said is d dance floor.

in another view, i dont think i ll type such long comments like here for equally good articles if its by some1 unknown. there was a connection earlier between this commentator & d writer which has caused it. so tht interpersonal relationship does matter for d music to not stop.

so y u? y such partiality? guess v love d concept of cloning subconsciously. y else will v like to b surrounded by ppl who potray somethin tht v represent r want to.

btw i think am d oly 1 to not get d point from d phrase 'evolutional pleasures'. r u meanin d influence d loved 1s has on us in our approach to life?

Sindu said...

@Abhishek: Well said Abhishek! 'The want of comfort zone' is definitely one of the primary mechanisms that underlie our actions. As for finding someone 'lovable', though senses do play an important role, it could be more than that. Sometimes, I might shy away from someone who please my eyes because I might probably feel insecure or inferior in their presence. Or probably jealous? ;)

Sindu said...

@Mr.Weirdo: Brilliant! Polygamy is something that baffles me too many a times. Sad, we are mere puppets pulled by the threads of survival, society and a silly mind.

As for the rest of your comment, I don't think I can even type a befitting reply. Great thoughts from you as usual! :)

By evolutionary pleasures, I am talking about traits of ours that satisfy the survival gene in others. For ex., being young, having curvy hips and lush hair is an evolutionary advantage for me, a woman and an evolutionary pleasure for a man.

mr.weirdo!! said...

"Sometimes, I might shy away from someone who please my eyes because I might probably feel insecure or inferior in their presence. Or probably jealous? ;)"

madam - inferiority, insecurity, jealously are traits of the comman MAN. :P we request women not to strip us off our identity :D

C.V.Varun said...

Please tell me this has nothing to do with me (May 29th? Seriously?)