Sunday, October 16, 2011

And hence they called her Maya

My days in Chennai are usually spent wishing that global warming had never happened. Hot and sultry all year round, I am mostly zombie-walking around the place blaming my low productivity on the evil energy sucking heat. Even a slight drop in the temperature would any day be a boon from the heavens. 

Within the next 24 hours, I would find myself in Coimbatore, turning my room upside down in the search for my sweater. The fan would perennially be switched off and I would be praying for a slight glimpse of the sun and a mild touch of warmth. 

If not anything else, these experiences have only made me realize how vulnerable and limited the human existence really is. Wants, needs and preferences are never absolute and solely exist relative and with reference to a small range of conditions. Most importantly, it conveys strongly how unsteady and fluctuating the mind really can be.

One day, it makes me believe that cool breeze is all that is needed to make my life and the very next it makes me pray that cold be banished from the face of Earth. A slight change in conditions can bring an ABSOLUTE shift in desires and preferences. Scary, if you ask me.

I thought three days of complete solitude would be fantastic. One day down, I am already feeling empty and weird. I am craving some noise and activity and hoping the others get back soon. It seems like I do need a certain amount of human contact and conversation to stimulate my days - however, just a certain amount. Tomorrow, I will again be looking for reasons to excuse myself from the post-dinner chat and get back to my room. I don't need them, yet I need them.

Human existence then boils down to the concepts of "optimum" and "balance". There is a threshold point for living and too much of anything doesn't seem to agree. What strange and vulnerable creatures we are!

5 comments:

Srinidhi said...

i couldn't have related better. I always crave for a balance. :) But when I am all alone it makes up for the noise of the crowd. :)

Well written. :)
Enjoy your trip home. I can't wait to go home as well. :)

harishsram said...

this reminds me of the conversation recordings that Jake has in Avatar :P

harishsram said...

on a serious note - optimum balance is even more scarier concept isn't? what you mean by balance is tallying the LHS & RHS of an equation. But the problem comes when one side (the mind within us) exceeds the level asking the other side (society) to reduce their presence & vice versa. So what really happens is you are fluctuating the importance of others depending upon your mood - which really isnt a good idea on a broader perspective.

Anonymous said...

Are you referring to the narrow range of what is comfortable (to human-beings)?
or
The human mind...
... frivolous? fickle?
Or both?

Quoting from your blog - Be careful what you ask for. You may get it...

:)

-V

Sindu said...

@Srinidhi: Hey.. sorry for the super delayed reply! Was consistently getting off from the wrong side of the bed. :)Thanks for the comment and yes, have a great Diwali! :)

@Harish: Fluctuating on the importance of others. Hmmm. What about acknowledging that this is the way the mind works and hence when I am fluctuating, the fault is not with the people around or with me - it is just the way things work. Guess that could settle issues a bit.

@V: Perhaps both. Yes, a narrow range is what the mind is comfortable with - even the mind that is steady and stable. Not realizing this and getting attached is what makes it fickle. Plausible? :)