Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Self-esteem -- Not Something To Be Guarded Constantly

Self-esteem can be such a fragile thing for some people! You could have years of accomplishment behind you, many hundreds of moments of being appreciated and honored for your brains, talent, and character, and the presence of wonderful people in your life who would go any lengths to show that you mean a lot to them. And yet, a single ridicule, a snide remark, a minute of being ignored, forgotten, or insulted is all it takes to make you feel worthless.

What a scary proposition is that! And yet, so true! It is as though the self is impervious to the good things about itself, but takes double the hit for anything otherwise. Life then becomes a constant run to hide and protect the self from hurt and pain; an existence born out of fear. Because, you have no armor to shield you from injury. You either protect your self-esteem, or let it take a dip. Self-esteem, I think, is not something that has to be constantly protected; not a healthy reality. It has to stand tall, hard and impenetrable. This is, of course, at the risk of becoming narcissistic or arrogant, and it has been the case with many. I know of far too many who could do with a little dip in self-esteem; they would be so much more human and empathetic that way.I guess, for them, the story was the other way round; the good things were absorbed strongly, and the hard moments could never really sink in. Strong though that sounds, I think a lot of golden lessons lie in the hard, ugly moments of life.

I guess, then, that the real deal is about knowing that everyone is as special as you, and yet at the same time, acknowledging that you cannot be made to feel worthless or insignificant by anyone except your own self.  From the former is born respect for others, and from the latter, comfort in your own skin that cannot be jarred frequently. It is a tight rope to walk on and a tough balancing act. I have been fortunate to see more than my fair share of people who balanced the equation wonderfully. I continue to respect them for it, and hope that some day, I can be the same too -- humble, and yet invincible to the forces that often sink my self-worth.

4 comments:

Rajesh K said...

There is one quote, which goes like this - "Self Respect (Esteem) comes naturally when one is aware that there is a price tag attached to anything worth having".

We lose our self-esteem mostly in situations where we think someone or something can do undue favors to us. But, we need to sooner or later come to terms with the non-existent nature of 'undue favors'.

Ganesh Puttu said...

"many hundreds of moments of being appreciated and honored for your brains, talent, and character" Lucky you..count your blessings...for others might not have been so fortunate

Anonymous said...

"Strong though that sounds, I think a lot of golden lessons lie in the hard, ugly moments of life."
I hope you understand how powerful that thought is. It requires courage. We could resist the call, numb the pain.
Or we could walk through the center of the fear-storm and surrender to the most transformational
ride of our lives. - http://conscious-transitions.com/blog/

Red Handed said...

The problem is we allow ppl to tarnish our self esteem. Its all in our mind. But like u said we shud allow.it to stand tall...Love this :)